It is common for couples, especially women, to complain of dissatisfaction after sexual encounter. When this persists in marriage it can lead to either cheating or the breakdown of marital cord. Countless of books have been written proffering solutions but very few have been very beneficial. Most of these write-ups are not very practical because the issue of communication is rarely discussed.
Until the line of communication is opened up between married couples they may never get to the zenith of their mutual sexual pleasures. We should take note of the word “mutual” here. Both husband and wife are entitled to sexual pleasure. It is not the prerogative of a woman or man alone.
In African culture it is almost forbidden for a woman to seek or desire sexual pleasure. But that notion is completely wrong. For women, sexual intercourse should not be a sole exercise for procreation just to bring babies to the world! Or just an avenue to satisfy men's lust. No! Not at all!!!
For couples to really enjoy sex they must truly be in love. And sex should be the most tender expression of love toward a loved one. It should be seen as a way of giving. Sharing of deepest intimacy with one another. Therefore, the mind should be involved.
Your Frame of Mind
Couples should have the right frame of mind for a pleasurable sex. And mutual love is the main ingredient for this. A woman especially should feel loved to be at her best. And the husband will do well by putting his wife in the best mood possible. Some little things can really help to achieve this. As a matter of fact a loving phone call from your place of work can do the magic later in the day. For example a man can call his wife on the phone and say something like this: “Hello, Oh I forgot to tell you something!” The wife may inquire: “What is it?! He responds: “That I love you so much!” This is called a “setup” for the wonderful expression of mutual love to follow later in the day.
Allowance of Time
Pleasurable sexual expression should never be rushed. Most of what we call sex today are a little short of rape! Naturally men respond faster than women sexually. So, plenty of time should be allowed for women to respond to the sexual advances. It is important that a woman becomes completely wet for smooth running of the sexual engine. This is where the main subject comes in—communication.
Communication
How important is the matter of communication? The greatest blunder married couples make in their experimentation of sex is to assume. How? We tend to imagine or assume what will be pleasurable to our sexual partners. This is a complete fallacy! What you assume or imagine to be pleasurable to your partner may actually be causing distraction or even pain. Before you know it the tempo is lost and may never be regained. What is the solution? Communication! Ask your partner where and how he/she wants to be touched. The answers may surprise you.
(I hope you have enjoyed reading this little write-up. I will appreciate your comments on this article either positive or negative.)
Monday, February 20, 2012
Friday, December 2, 2011
Church Bans Interracial Couples in United States!
All-white church bans interracial couples (but members claim they're not racist)
An all-white church in America's rural South has voted to ban interracial couples from joining.
Members of the Gulnare Free Will Baptist Church in Kentucky voted for the resolution after their Sunday service, which says the church 'does not condone interracial marriage'.
The church member who crafted the resolution, Melvin Thompson, claims he is not racist and called the matter an 'internal affair'.
Discrimination: Stella Harville and her fiancé, Ticha Chikuni, were told they could no longer take part in services at the Gulnare Free Will Baptist Church in Kentucky. Miss Harville's father is the church secretary
Discrimination: Stella Harville and her fiancé, Ticha Chikuni, were told they could no longer take part in services at the Gulnare Free Will Baptist Church in Kentucky. Miss Harville's father is the church secretary
'I am not racist. I will tell you that. I am not prejudiced against any race of people, have never in my lifetime spoke evil' about a race, said Thompson, the church's former pastor who stepped down earlier this year.
'That's what this is being portrayed as, but it is not.'
Church secretary Dean Harville disagrees, saying the resolution came after his daughter visited the church this summer with her boyfriend from Africa.
Stella Harville and Ticha Chikuni — now her fiance — visited the church in June and Chikuni sang a song for the congregation. The two had visited the church before.
Mr Harville said he was counting the church offering after a service in early August when he was approached by Thompson, who told him Harville's daughter and her boyfriend were no longer allowed to sing at the church.
'If he's not racist, what is this?' Mr Harville said.
Divisions: Gulnare Free Will Baptist Church in Kentucky, which has voted to ban interracial couples from joining
Divisions: Gulnare Free Will Baptist Church in Kentucky, which has voted to ban interracial couples from joining
The vote by members last Sunday was 9-6, Mr Harville said. It was taken after the service, which about 35 to 40 people attended. Mr Harville said many people left or declined to vote.
The resolution says anyone is welcome to attend services, but interracial couples could not become members or be 'used in worship services or other church functions'.
Stella Harville, a 24-year-old graduate student at Rose-Hulman Institute of Technology in Indiana, called the vote 'hurtful'.
'I think part of me is still in shock and trying to process what's been going on the past few days,' she said. 'I really hope they overturn this.'
Last night the church's pastor, Stacy Stepp, said that he was against the resolution. Mr Stepp said the denomination's regional conference will begin working on resolving the issue this weekend.
The National Association of Free Will Baptists in Tennessee has no official position on interracial marriage for its 2,400 churches worldwide, executive secretary Keith Burden said.
The denomination believes the Bible is inerrant and local churches have autonomy over decision-making.
'It's been a non-issue with us,' Mr Burden said, adding that many interracial couples attend Free Will Baptist churches.
He said the Pike County church acted on its own. Mr Burden said the association can move to strip the local church of its affiliation with the national denomination if it's not resolved.
'Hopefully it is corrected quickly,' Mr Burden said.
An all-white church in America's rural South has voted to ban interracial couples from joining.
Members of the Gulnare Free Will Baptist Church in Kentucky voted for the resolution after their Sunday service, which says the church 'does not condone interracial marriage'.
The church member who crafted the resolution, Melvin Thompson, claims he is not racist and called the matter an 'internal affair'.
Discrimination: Stella Harville and her fiancé, Ticha Chikuni, were told they could no longer take part in services at the Gulnare Free Will Baptist Church in Kentucky. Miss Harville's father is the church secretary
Discrimination: Stella Harville and her fiancé, Ticha Chikuni, were told they could no longer take part in services at the Gulnare Free Will Baptist Church in Kentucky. Miss Harville's father is the church secretary
'I am not racist. I will tell you that. I am not prejudiced against any race of people, have never in my lifetime spoke evil' about a race, said Thompson, the church's former pastor who stepped down earlier this year.
'That's what this is being portrayed as, but it is not.'
Church secretary Dean Harville disagrees, saying the resolution came after his daughter visited the church this summer with her boyfriend from Africa.
Stella Harville and Ticha Chikuni — now her fiance — visited the church in June and Chikuni sang a song for the congregation. The two had visited the church before.
Mr Harville said he was counting the church offering after a service in early August when he was approached by Thompson, who told him Harville's daughter and her boyfriend were no longer allowed to sing at the church.
'If he's not racist, what is this?' Mr Harville said.
Divisions: Gulnare Free Will Baptist Church in Kentucky, which has voted to ban interracial couples from joining
Divisions: Gulnare Free Will Baptist Church in Kentucky, which has voted to ban interracial couples from joining
The vote by members last Sunday was 9-6, Mr Harville said. It was taken after the service, which about 35 to 40 people attended. Mr Harville said many people left or declined to vote.
The resolution says anyone is welcome to attend services, but interracial couples could not become members or be 'used in worship services or other church functions'.
Stella Harville, a 24-year-old graduate student at Rose-Hulman Institute of Technology in Indiana, called the vote 'hurtful'.
'I think part of me is still in shock and trying to process what's been going on the past few days,' she said. 'I really hope they overturn this.'
Last night the church's pastor, Stacy Stepp, said that he was against the resolution. Mr Stepp said the denomination's regional conference will begin working on resolving the issue this weekend.
The National Association of Free Will Baptists in Tennessee has no official position on interracial marriage for its 2,400 churches worldwide, executive secretary Keith Burden said.
The denomination believes the Bible is inerrant and local churches have autonomy over decision-making.
'It's been a non-issue with us,' Mr Burden said, adding that many interracial couples attend Free Will Baptist churches.
He said the Pike County church acted on its own. Mr Burden said the association can move to strip the local church of its affiliation with the national denomination if it's not resolved.
'Hopefully it is corrected quickly,' Mr Burden said.
Sexual Benefits for Married Couples!
Sex can benefit your health in many ways.
Here are seven reasons to give and get a little love – not just on special day, but any time.
Good for the heart
Sex is good for your heart. Like any physical exertion, sex is a form of cardio-exercise, which gets your heart pumping faster and helps it stay in shape. What's more, studies have shown that men who have sex two or more times per week cut their risk of a fatal heart attack by half.
Helps you lose weight
Like any form of exercise, sex helps you lose weight. Having sex for 30 minutes can burn off 85 calories. To put that in perspective: 15 minutes on the treadmill could burn up to 200 calories; 42 of these half-hour sessions, then, could shave a pound off your weight.
Boosts your immune system
While it's possible to contract a wide range of diseases, both from sex and from simple contact with others, safe sex between healthy partners can make you better equipped to fight illness.
Those who have sex once or twice a week have been shown to have higher levels of immunoglobulin A or IgA, an antibody which helps protect you from respiratory diseases like the cold and flu.
Don’t go overboard, though – in studies, those who had sex three or more times a week had the lowest levels of antibodies.
Reduces the risk of prostate cancer
For younger men, sex reduces the risk of prostate cancer. Researchers have found that men in their 20s who had five or more ejaculations per week were one third less likely to develop the cancer in later life. Although they found no such correlation for older men, you could try to prove them wrong.
Relieves stress
There's a medical explanation for the mood boost sex gives you. The brain releases endorphins during and after sex, and these neurotransmitters create a feeling of euphoria while masking the negative effects of stress.
Researchers have also found that sex lowers your blood pressure, which is good for your health and allows you to better keep your cool in stressful situations.
It relieves pain
Endorphins and lower blood pressure also mean that sex relieves pain. Endorphins are released during sex because of the heightened levels of the hormone oxytocin in your body. This has been known to alleviate arthritic and menstrual pain, among other things. Lower blood pressure can also help relieve migraines.
It helps you sleep
In addition to relieving stress and pain, the oxytocin generated during sex helps you sleep better. Sex relaxes you, promoting deeper, more restful sleep. What more do you need?www.successwithayodeb.com
Here are seven reasons to give and get a little love – not just on special day, but any time.
Good for the heart
Sex is good for your heart. Like any physical exertion, sex is a form of cardio-exercise, which gets your heart pumping faster and helps it stay in shape. What's more, studies have shown that men who have sex two or more times per week cut their risk of a fatal heart attack by half.
Helps you lose weight
Like any form of exercise, sex helps you lose weight. Having sex for 30 minutes can burn off 85 calories. To put that in perspective: 15 minutes on the treadmill could burn up to 200 calories; 42 of these half-hour sessions, then, could shave a pound off your weight.
Boosts your immune system
While it's possible to contract a wide range of diseases, both from sex and from simple contact with others, safe sex between healthy partners can make you better equipped to fight illness.
Those who have sex once or twice a week have been shown to have higher levels of immunoglobulin A or IgA, an antibody which helps protect you from respiratory diseases like the cold and flu.
Don’t go overboard, though – in studies, those who had sex three or more times a week had the lowest levels of antibodies.
Reduces the risk of prostate cancer
For younger men, sex reduces the risk of prostate cancer. Researchers have found that men in their 20s who had five or more ejaculations per week were one third less likely to develop the cancer in later life. Although they found no such correlation for older men, you could try to prove them wrong.
Relieves stress
There's a medical explanation for the mood boost sex gives you. The brain releases endorphins during and after sex, and these neurotransmitters create a feeling of euphoria while masking the negative effects of stress.
Researchers have also found that sex lowers your blood pressure, which is good for your health and allows you to better keep your cool in stressful situations.
It relieves pain
Endorphins and lower blood pressure also mean that sex relieves pain. Endorphins are released during sex because of the heightened levels of the hormone oxytocin in your body. This has been known to alleviate arthritic and menstrual pain, among other things. Lower blood pressure can also help relieve migraines.
It helps you sleep
In addition to relieving stress and pain, the oxytocin generated during sex helps you sleep better. Sex relaxes you, promoting deeper, more restful sleep. What more do you need?www.successwithayodeb.com
Saturday, December 20, 2008
Women And Sexual Desires
Should Women Enjoy Sex? To many in the western world that question may sound ridiculous. But not in Africa and not to people who are familiar with the plight of women in many places around the world. As a matter of fact in the East and Western parts of Africa women clitoris are removed from childhood.
Why? It is believed that for women sex is meant for procreation and not to be enjoyed! According to the tradition, well-intentioned parents arrange for the removal of part or most of their daughters’ genitalia. It has been called female circumcision. But most experts are now calling it FGM (female genital mutilation), a term that more accurately describes this procedure.
As a result of this harmful practice some women have developed permanent, painful disabilities. Even some have died as a result of this painful experience. Some medical authorities have even claimed that FGM may play a part in the transmission of AIDS in Africa. And as a result of great numbers of immigrants from Africa and the Middle East to Australia, Canada, Europe, and the United States, this mutilation of females is becoming a public-health issue in some Western health-care facilities.
The problem is now beyond African problem. As a result the western world is also legislating against the custom. England, France, Italy, and Sweden are some of the European countries where FGM is illegal.
I mentioned in the beginning of this article that one of the reasons behind this practice is that it is erroneously believed that female genital organs are unclean and must be purified by cutting them away. They also think that only men have the right to enjoy sexual pleasure. It is also believed that FGM improves fertility, discourages sexual immorality, and increases a girl’s chances for marriage.
However, it is not uncommon for many African women to suffer from frigidity as a result of this practice. And this has led to marital problem.
What do you think? Is it not proper for women to enjoy sex as men do?
Why? It is believed that for women sex is meant for procreation and not to be enjoyed! According to the tradition, well-intentioned parents arrange for the removal of part or most of their daughters’ genitalia. It has been called female circumcision. But most experts are now calling it FGM (female genital mutilation), a term that more accurately describes this procedure.
As a result of this harmful practice some women have developed permanent, painful disabilities. Even some have died as a result of this painful experience. Some medical authorities have even claimed that FGM may play a part in the transmission of AIDS in Africa. And as a result of great numbers of immigrants from Africa and the Middle East to Australia, Canada, Europe, and the United States, this mutilation of females is becoming a public-health issue in some Western health-care facilities.
The problem is now beyond African problem. As a result the western world is also legislating against the custom. England, France, Italy, and Sweden are some of the European countries where FGM is illegal.
I mentioned in the beginning of this article that one of the reasons behind this practice is that it is erroneously believed that female genital organs are unclean and must be purified by cutting them away. They also think that only men have the right to enjoy sexual pleasure. It is also believed that FGM improves fertility, discourages sexual immorality, and increases a girl’s chances for marriage.
However, it is not uncommon for many African women to suffer from frigidity as a result of this practice. And this has led to marital problem.
What do you think? Is it not proper for women to enjoy sex as men do?
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