It is common for couples, especially women, to complain of dissatisfaction after sexual encounter. When this persists in marriage it can lead to either cheating or the breakdown of marital cord. Countless of books have been written proffering solutions but very few have been very beneficial. Most of these write-ups are not very practical because the issue of communication is rarely discussed.
Until the line of communication is opened up between married couples they may never get to the zenith of their mutual sexual pleasures. We should take note of the word “mutual” here. Both husband and wife are entitled to sexual pleasure. It is not the prerogative of a woman or man alone.
In African culture it is almost forbidden for a woman to seek or desire sexual pleasure. But that notion is completely wrong. For women, sexual intercourse should not be a sole exercise for procreation just to bring babies to the world! Or just an avenue to satisfy men's lust. No! Not at all!!!
For couples to really enjoy sex they must truly be in love. And sex should be the most tender expression of love toward a loved one. It should be seen as a way of giving. Sharing of deepest intimacy with one another. Therefore, the mind should be involved.
Your Frame of Mind
Couples should have the right frame of mind for a pleasurable sex. And mutual love is the main ingredient for this. A woman especially should feel loved to be at her best. And the husband will do well by putting his wife in the best mood possible. Some little things can really help to achieve this. As a matter of fact a loving phone call from your place of work can do the magic later in the day. For example a man can call his wife on the phone and say something like this: “Hello, Oh I forgot to tell you something!” The wife may inquire: “What is it?! He responds: “That I love you so much!” This is called a “setup” for the wonderful expression of mutual love to follow later in the day.
Allowance of Time
Pleasurable sexual expression should never be rushed. Most of what we call sex today are a little short of rape! Naturally men respond faster than women sexually. So, plenty of time should be allowed for women to respond to the sexual advances. It is important that a woman becomes completely wet for smooth running of the sexual engine. This is where the main subject comes in—communication.
Communication
How important is the matter of communication? The greatest blunder married couples make in their experimentation of sex is to assume. How? We tend to imagine or assume what will be pleasurable to our sexual partners. This is a complete fallacy! What you assume or imagine to be pleasurable to your partner may actually be causing distraction or even pain. Before you know it the tempo is lost and may never be regained. What is the solution? Communication! Ask your partner where and how he/she wants to be touched. The answers may surprise you.
(I hope you have enjoyed reading this little write-up. I will appreciate your comments on this article either positive or negative.)
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